Dating in the dojo
They expect others to bend to their whim, and they are unused to treating people with decency or courtesy. If you man up, she might bounce. It can, however, be a bad thing too.
They might enjoy your company, your attention, even having sex with you. She agreed to this, and later told me that she liked how I did that, because most men would have waited around. The best thing you can do as a Sensei is to encourage the couple to remain professional while on the mats and hope for the best. When called out on it, some women will respond positively. First, there are some people who are incapable of respecting boundaries in any kind of relationships.
Now, there is something to this. One time I was trying to set up a first date by phone with a woman who was in the middle of moving across town. Truth is, the customer is not always right, and you might get screwed sometimes.
The second reason is that not all women are healthy. But even those require good boundaries. But instead of dominance and submission, it may also be useful to think in terms of boundaries. And the more you respect yourself, the better luck you will have finding a healthy woman.
Just like men, they might have intimacy issues of their own, and they are unprepared for a relationship that requires them to respect you. If you decide to implement good boundaries, you need to do it out of respect for yourself, and not out of the desire to get laid. She suggested that we meet up at some point on that night, after she got done with the move, at whatever time that might be, though it might be very late. This may actually sound okay. Their training can be a bond that helps strengthen their relationship and vice versa.
This must be respected by everyone. Of course, nobody paid attention to this.
If you catch feelings, you will get burned. Many women will, consciously or subconsciously, test your boundaries by doing things like postponing plans, showing up late, or changing plans at the last minute. Let them weed themselves out. However, married dojo members are quite common in my dojo and that seems to work just fine. Because you will find that, on a case by case basis, it may not help with that.
Some women will be out the door. Or if the couple has a bad break-up it may lead to one or both people leaving the dojo. It can be both a good or bad thing.
Some women will take notice, and be even more attracted to you. But there is no way I would myself be perceived as keeping my schedule open for someone I barely even know. The term for this person is douchebag, and yes, there are female douchebags.
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